I recently dreamed about a gathering. From the periphery, I watched the leader beckon a handful of people in the crowd to join her inner circle for additional trainings. The collective considered this selection an honor and those chosen reacted with delight.
I was not among them.
Disappointment—even embarrassment— surfaced, triggering memories of other times those feelings crashed over me. This time they receded quickly, like a wave returning to the ocean. In my dream, I simply knew that group was not for me. I don’t need those trainings. My certainty crystallized without anger or judgment.
Let them do their thing.
I’ll do mine.
My search for belonging is the backbone of my life’s skeleton, a column of support connected to every move whether I realized it or not. Belonging is the central theme in my forthcoming book and motivates my other offerings.
I finally understand my own belonging is inherent. It cannot be eroded, lost, or taken. I always belong— to myself and with those who love me as I am, beings both seen and unseen.
This year, I’m yearning for real life community, for people who resonate with my celebration of authenticity and already-enoughness.
In four weeks I’m co-hosting my first retreat with Dena Fife at Prairiewoods, an ecospirituality retreat and conference center in Hiawatha, IA.
More than anything, I want to cultivate horizontal relationship throughout the event. There will be no leader, no inner circle, no hierarchy of importance or value.
Although Dena and I are sharing what we’ve learned through workshops and offering 1:1 sessions, we’re excited to learn from and with participants as equals. We’re facilitating and organizing— that’s it.
The real transformative magic will come from sharing individual exploration within the container of our mutual commitment to honor each other’s innate wisdom.
Dena sent me this photo today of a spread she pulled about the retreat. Decks used are two of mine, Song of the Grandmothers and Prairie Majesty Oracle. The top card is from NIU Māori Oracle Cards by Bronwyn Waipuka-Callander.
Dena is a Māori Healing Practitioner of mixed descent (Māori, English, Irish). She’ll be sharing with us how to use a raakau, which is pictured at the bottom. Retreat participants will receive one to take home.
“The raakau is essentially a stick used to release blocks and clear the body. To help strengthen our mind, body, and spirit. It helps us open up in order to fully feel, to align ourselves with and acknowledge what is around us. It is personal to each person, revealing what’s needed for them. It teaches us to listen to our own authority and honor what’s in our hearts. It brings us back by breaking things apart that no longer serve us.”
—Dena Fife
I absolutely cannot wait.
Registration closes February 2. We can accommodate a few more people. I’m happy to chat more and extend the invitation with love!
Creativity as Siren Call for Belonging
In the meantime, I’m waiting for feedback next month from the developmental editor I hired to review my manuscript, in anticipation of querying agents this spring. I gave myself homework of reading potential comps (publishers want lists of similar books to show marketability and how yours is distinguishable). What a treat!
Dena loaned me an incredible book called Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-Pa Turner. I cannot recommend it enough.
This morning I finished Chapter 8: Trekking the Creative Wild. It might be my favorite yet. Toko-pa writes, “To come into our true originality, we must surrender the layers of numbness we use to protect our hearts.”
Wow, did this hit home. It succinctly describes the most challenging requirement in writing my book: vulnerability. Giving it life meant revisiting my most painful experiences and putting them on a platter. Toko-pa calls this “draw[ing] upon the wisdom of our wounds,” which enables us “to reach others in a meaningful way.” Unless we are willing “to brave towards our personal edge,” our creations imitate rather than sourcing from our origins.
(Can we take a moment to appreciate this eloquent phrasing? Oh, to brave towards my edges!)
Toko-pa continues, discussing the importance of dreamwork, making time to do nothing, and allowing mystery to approach us.
From here, she says:
“Originality then becomes the practice of unhindering what’s already there. This work is essential to belonging because your creative offering is like a holy signal to those who carry a similar vibratory signature. In hearing or seeing what you’ve created, they will find a sense of belonging with you and, by being found, so will you.”
This reminded me of the gratitude I feel for everyone who’s supported my journey. Your feedback and reception of my work matters on a fundamental level because it connects both of us through the larger web. I hope you feel a sense of belonging with me, too.
Toko-pa also writes about the “fog of uncertainty” as a prerequisite to creativity. This absolutely captures my personal experience navigating the aches of self-doubt.
She elaborates:
“We need more wayshowers, who have penetrated the fog of their own uncertainty to find something truthful. Something human and tragic and beautifully lost, something small but utterly true. Like cupping your hands around a tiny flame, if you can protect the young embers from the harsh winds of your dismissal, it may become a real heartfire. That fire then becomes a beacon for others to sail towards. Not to imitate it, but to emulate its quality of bravery, which has been left like a vibratory signature in the thing you’ve made. Paradoxically, there is nothing new in eternity, but what is new is your alchemical encounter with it.”
In sum: I’m savoring this book. (Have you read it? Want to? Let’s talk about it in the comments!)
Podcast Interview
I had a wonderful time chatting with Cyndera of Archetypal Tarot Podcast about Song of the Grandmothers. Can we keep you company while you’re on a walk, doing dishes, or sorting laundry?
Cyndera pulled Grandmother Raven for 2023 and asked me what this might suggest on a collective level. It won’t surprise you I was thrilled to expound on Raven’s mysterious, trust-fall-into-the-unknown energy!
To celebrate, I’m offering $8 off with coupon code SAVE8 until the end of January. (The equivalent of free shipping in the U.S. or discount on international fees).
Your shares, purchases, and reviews keep this operation afloat. Thank you! I’m sending you a heart full of gratitude and hoping your weekend brings the comfort and cheer you love most.
Thanks, sis! Your writing is both direct and eloquent, as always. Great reminders on this journey of life. Wish I could teleport to your retreat!
Oh Kara, how I would love to come to your retreat! I had already purchased airline tickets for that same weekend (several months back) and promised 5 women I would show up at Myrtle Beach. I would love to be with you - crazy how things happen at the same time. I adore your words and the retreat sounds simply magical!