Well, friends, my Omens for 2024 are spot on so far.
For January, “Hold out your hand” had me asking for and receiving help for You Belong Here, my upcoming book, in every quarter—from proofreader to graphic designer to fellow author endorsements.
My February omen is much less fun: “Intentionally participate in your healing. Allow it to unfold without control.” Earlier this week, I was even counting how many days until February is over because I’m ready to finish this assignment.
One of the spiral themes I’m walking this lifetime is dissolving intense, overwhelming fear that arises from health issues for myself or my kids. Usually it’s completely disproportionate to my lived reality of what’s happening.
Maybe you can relate? I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I suspect ancestral memories in my DNA and past life experiences both make this issue super charged for me.
What helps me navigate this is understanding myself as a multi-dimensional being.
My book goes deeper into this topic. For our purposes today, I’ll keep it simple.
With time and practice, I’ve learned to hold awareness of different aspects of myself and pay attention to which one is dominant. These include human Kara and my expansive consciousness (the part of me that is eternal). Health issues are oh-so-triggering for human Kara.
For all the years I’ve been cultivating this multi-dimensional understanding, human Kara’s panic overrides everything else for pockets of time when health issues arise. This experience is extremely physical for me. It can include nausea, stomach upset, loss of appetite, insomnia, and/or waves of tingly heat or cold that flood my system.
Mentally, this brings brain fog, disconnection, anxiety, and/or decision paralysis.
Emotionally and spiritually, it might include feeling abandoned, cut-off from Source/God, ashamed (because I’m not keeping myself or my kids safe), and/or unable to feel hope.
Of course, with every experience, the duration of my panic state lessens. However, until this month, there was always at least some stretch of time when my panic state would completely take over.
When one of my daughters was sick for a week with high fever, I noticed something really important. Even though this activated my human fear per usual, for the first time this fear never obscured the Me who operates from my expansive consciousness.
It didn’t happen because I ignored or dismissed or shamed my fear. It’s because my hard-won, longtime practice of befriending and absorbing my fear is working. I’ve intentionally chosen to embody and operate from my expansive consciousness enough times that this anchor inside me is stronger than ever.
I still have work to do, let’s be honest.
There were moments when almost 50% of me felt the human panic—but it never crossed that line. I was able even inside those moments to KNOW that the larger Me would find her/our way through. This gave me confidence to trust what my Knowing and my daughter’s Knowing were telling me. It was easier to make choices, be present instead of trying to micromanage everything, and reassure my daughter, knowing this would pass.
It also highlighted more than ever before my extreme privilege in having access to everything I need and broke my heart knowing that this is not the reality for so many. I continue to support a permanent ceasefire in Gaza and establishment of a Palestinian state free from decades of oppression.
Once my daughter was in the clear, some stuff happened that concerns my health. (I don’t want you to worry—I’m okay.)
It became critical to feel everything this activated in my body, even though it was super scary to acknowledge how afraid I felt. I’m still too close to the experience to break down the percentage of how much of this I perceived from human panic or my expansive consciousness.
But that brings me to the point of my essay today. Thanks for sticking with me. You already know I can’t tell a story in a straight line.
This week gave me a breakthrough I’m hoping will be useful for you, too.
The key for shifting out of fear around my health is something I’m always telling my kids when something happens that upsets them:
This is just information.
It’s not your fault. You don’t need to be ashamed or scared of it.
What is it trying to tell you?
For example:
If one of my girls receives a lower grade than she hoped for, we discuss how that grade does not define anything about her. It’s just information. It tells her where she’s still learning. Maybe there was a question she didn’t read carefully enough, which reminds her to take her time in the future. Maybe there was something she didn’t understand as well as she thought, which tells us to revisit it together at home.
A recent dentist visit revealed one of my girls is more prone to plaque and tartar build-up than the others and must be more diligent about brushing for a full two minutes. She felt bad that her sisters didn’t get the same lecture. It’s just information. This is her body telling her, “I need something to change. Here’s the best way you can support me and take care of me.”
Applying this to my own health concerns is such a powerful antidote to fear.
My body is telling me right now to prioritize rest, movement, and nourishment. For years, one consistent thing I hear from people who know me as a lawyer, creative, friend, or relative have all said, “I don’t know how you do everything.”
The truth is: I don’t—not without sacrificing my health.
This week gave me a wake-up call. I’ve been running on adrenaline for years, and my body is OVER IT. Instead of panicking about the information I received from my body, I need neutrality (which I source from my expansive consciousness) so that I can pay attention to what it’s offering me.
I’m only a few days into shifting some things, but I already feel better. I’ve also scheduled medical appointments without the fear this usually activates in me. I’m ready for even more information because I want and need to take better care of myself.
My body is designed to die just like it was designed to live. It knows how. It’s normal and natural for my body to change as I age. My job is to support my body, not resist this process.
How’s this landing for you? Can you relate? You know I love to hear from you in the comments.
Love,
P.S. If this post resonated, would you “like” it and consider sharing with your people? Every little bit helps my reach and means so much. <3
Really connected with your thoughts in this one around hearing out and feeling into fear or any other emotions as information to navigate a situation. This is definitely something I’ve been leaning into more and more over the last couple years and has changed my actions and reactions to more challenging situations so they go far smoother. Thank you for sharing! Excited for your book! 🌈☺️🕸✨